No Sex?! The power and the promise of virginity

by Nathan Bailey

Today, sex is greatly devalued. Some people consider themselves high-valued if they don't sleep on the first date. Personally, I am seeking a higher standard, one that keeps sex as a special intimacy only shared with my single, life-long partner, my wife.

There are three major reasons I am saving myself for my wife, best summarized as chocolate, flour and water and health! Now, I will explain! :)


Since so many are constantly sleeping around in our culture, sex loses its worth. It becomes something common. No longer is it sacred, special, the apex of intimacy between husband and wife. Instead, it is something that you are expected to give away to anyone who makes a reasonable demand for it.

But I have a gift. A special gift. I am saving it for one woman. A special woman. This is a gift I have never given to anyone else. And, once shared with her, will never be shared with someone else. My sexual expression belongs solely, completely and entirely with my wife.

Why would I choose to give so precious a gift to someone who would not value it? For someone who would take it just as another opportunity in a series of such opportunities, not so difference from that shared with others?

Not me. The analogy I've refered to above is chocolate. Imagine, if you will, that chocolate is very special to you. You love chocolate, its rich, creamy flavour, the delicate way it melts in your mouth. You long to share with others the joy of chocolate. But since this is such a rich and intimate thing for you, you decide that you will only explore the full depths of your love for chocolate with one person. Only they will really discover the depths of your passion for chocolate. This is my commitment to virginity. It is not some puritan rejection of sex, but rather an embracing of the true, special, unique value and pleasure of sex that should be a special, intimate experience shared with one, special, once-in-a-lifetime (and for the rest of a lifetime) partner.

Flour and water

Sex creates a bond between the two partners. It is not merely a physical act, it is a "whole person" act, it has physical, emotional and spiritual aspects. The bonding involved in sex is best illustrated by the result of mixing flour and water. When the physical bond ends, there are still emotional and spiritual bonds that remain, and they are as hard to seperate as the individual components of dough.

The two truly become one, and although physical seperation may occur, there are still entanglements that tie them together, exactly as God intended. But outside of a unique, special relationship, these entanglements become painful reminders of special times shared with someone who is no longer special.


Safe sex. Did you know that condoms don't prevent you from getting pregnant? That in fact there are naturally occuring defects in condoms that are 50 times the size of (something -- is it the AIDS virus)? That many sexual diseases can be transmitted by genital contact that occurs despite wearing a condom? There's only one form of truely safe sex, and that's monogamy.

One-liners: brief answers to 'no sex?!'

Also note Randy Alcorn's Sexual Purity: What You Need to Know and Do

Further reading: Healthy sexuality

God loves sex! Read more about healthy sexuality and overcoming secret sin.

© Copyright 1997-2012, Nathan Bailey, All Rights Reserved. Permission is granted to print these articles for personal use, in whole or in part, provided the extract references the original URL,, so that people can find the latest version.
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