January, 2003

Friday 10th: What a cool concept! :-) Or perhaps you'd prefer Albert Einstein's Theory of Relativity (In Words of Four Letters or Less). Lying around, having fun? Surely the hippest weather girl?

Monday 6th: So I killed a red wallaby last Thursday. I was driving back from the Snowy, and one passed slowly in front of me, with no real care for the pace of the car -- I had to slow and swerve to miss it (unlike the rabbits, which you'd have to have some serious skill to hit).

The next one that came along, I barely saw at all, just heard the thump. Yuck. Damn. What to do? I wish I had one of those Wildlife numbers. But then, no phone signal. Perhaps 000? Still no signal, not even for an emergency. Should I leave it there? Run over it again, and make sure it's dead? (mercy killing -- I didn't like the idea, but I liked the idea of leaving it in pain less).

But it dragged itself off the road. Looked like I only hit its leg. I couldn't leave it there, perfectly capable of life but unable to move. Surely someone cared for roos like this? So, with some difficulty, I put it in the car (front seat), covered its head, and tried to find someone who would help. First stop, a petrol station -- no-one home. Second stop, a big homestead -- I meet a car coming out, and the lady obviously was shocked that anyone would even think about the roo. "Er, I'd just leave it there" she said, and drove off, leaving me none the wiser as what to do. I wouldn't mind giving it a swift, clean death, if I had a gun, but I'm not going to leave it to die in agony (or starvation!).

Finally, a bush nursing centre -- like a hospital, I suppose, but without a doctor. The nurse was helpful, sent me to a lady down the road who could take care of things. But the poor roo was dead by the time I got there. She checked it, and told me it was a red wallaby, not a roo, and took it off my hands -- I said a very sincere thank-you, and drove off.

December, 2002

Tuesday 3rd: Friends are having 30th birthday parties, and I'm making promises about things that I will definitely get done by the time I'm 40. Not such a certainty as it used to be!

January, 2002

Tuesday 8th: I couldn't find my folder, but it was shown to me in a dream last night. In my dream, I pulled it out from a pile of MBA class stuff.

Today, I saw a folder that looked like it, but it was for another subject. Then, at my feet, I saw a pile of MBA class stuff (not quite like in the dream, but similar), and in that pile was the folder!

God is cool :-)

Monday 7th: Nanna's cremation and memorial service was held today -- and so, I lose my last grandparent, but to a better place. I barely knew my dad's dad, and my mum's dad died nearly a decade ago. Samishi is the Japanese word, combining a sense of regret with a sense of sorrow. It would be nice to have them around, to have their advice and encouragement, as I take on the world, to have the wisdom of their years.

What a wonderful heritage my grandparents built up for me, serving the Lord, innovating, researching, hard-working. So much of who I am is in what they were.

Goodbye, Nan, or at least, au revoir.

November, 2001

Friday 9th: I had to vote early, because I will be at class all day on Saturday. I thought the only way to vote early was to get a postal vote. Postal voting actually sounds quite attractive, because you get the names and affiliations of the candidates well before the election, so you have time to research them and make a well informed decision.

But I only realised/got serious about it on Wednesday, when I rang the local office and asked, with some trepidation, if I'd still be able to do a postal vote. The lady on the phone was more positive than I expected, but still said she thought it wouldn't work in time (I was thinking -- I can pick it up and do it on the spot!).

She asked what the problem was and I explained I would be at class all day. She said fine, why don't you come by and vote today. Today?! Yup -- they had a few booths and all the necessary forms at the local office. So I left work early, and filled out my vote. It was a bit frustrating though, because there are at least 10 people on the senate form with no affiliation whatsoever. So who knows where their values and visions are?

The next day (Thursday), I picked up my brother from the airport -- another polling booth, this time with a guy soliciting votes (which I don't think is quite legit, since you're supposed to have a reason, but anyway...). It seems there is a remarkable diversity of opportunities to vote before the actual day, and so the phrase about ''this is the only vote I've done'' makes a lot more sense -- it would be quite straightforward to vote any number of times over the week leading up to an election.

Which of course, leads to the question -- which vote(s) do they throw away? It's been a while since I've voted at a booth, but regardless of whether they do or don't file your votes inside an identified envelope, they have to count those votes that day. So having seperated the vote from the record (in order to count it anonymously), they can't ''throw away'' a duplicate vote. Which must mean that your ''in person, on the day'' vote is your canonical vote, and all other votes are discarded in favour of that one.

Of course, I may be over complicating the system -- they might just count all the votes and then fine you silly for trying to break the system...

August, 2001

Thursday 9th: I'm doing an assignment on desserts, and a major competitor of the company we are reviewing is Sara Lee. So I'm reviewing Sara Lee's online information, and I come across the following sentence in their FAQ:

For example our hosiery business offers many types of value-added sheer hosiery products in addition to other kinds of legwear, such as trouser socks and tights.
Can someone please tell me what 'value-added sheer hosiery products' can possibly mean? How can you ''value-add'' sheer hosiery? "Yes, that's right, you don't just get a pair of stockings, you get -- a free box with them! Value added, at no extra cost!" Hmm...

The other FAQ worth noting was about Sara Lee (Bakery)'s motto. In the famous tradition of misheard lyrics, I believed that it was ''Nobody does it like Sara Lee'', but astonishingly enough, it is actually ''Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee.'' Somehow, I think I like the former better -- apart from the fact that the later appears to break the grammatical rule about double negatives, it just doesn't seem as uplifting a statement. It's almost a dare -- "Hey, you know, _no-one_ doesn't like it, so, if you do... Well I guess you'd be nobody then, but that's who doesn't like it!"

July, 2001

Tuesday 10: Stress and busyness never seem to quite correlate in my life :p I'm very busy now, and some things aren't getting the focus they should get. But I'm not particularly stressed. At other times, there is only one, particularly frustrating thing I'm worried about, and it makes me quite stressed until it's resolved. I suppose I'm not stressed at the moment because there's no gaping holes where I'm lacking closure. Lots of little ones, to be sure, but nothing that is so worrisome it causes me stress. Is that what stress is like for everyone, or is it different for each person, or for different types of people?

Been doing more reading, several books a week now. Never really seem to be able to stop reading a good fiction book. Fortunately, some books are so long that you've got to stop, before you collapse in total exhaustion and wake up with dribble all over the pages (no, I haven't done that :p). But I do feel tired some mornings, from the late nights. Still, at least it feels mildly constructive, though there isn't a lot of purpose behind it at the moment. I am conscious that my early reading habits helped to fill out my current vocabulary, so in that sense, I guess it's personal development. But on the other hand, it's also just plain fun. Interestering. Invigorating. One of these days I really am going to have a go at writing some serious fiction, to see if I can do it (or to see how much more training I need to be able to do it, perhaps ;-)

June, 2001

Sunday 2: Generational consequences -- After having seen an unhealthy pattern in a friend's life, I finally confronted them about it. Unfortunately, it was too late. Their heart was already too hard about it, and they were too far gone.

Reflecting on it, I realised that this was exactly the same state as one of their parents, who had similarly set their heart hard in much the same way -- the head knew it was wrong, but the price of changing was too great to suffer, and the wrong was too pleasurable to abandon.

It's sad, tragic even, to think how sin has generational consequences, how the lack of discipline in one person's life can make another person vulnerable to the same fate. I pray for my friend, I hold hope for the truth, but I know that one day, that friend will look back with regret, and I am forced to wonder what else I could've done to help them not go down a path that will inevitably lead to such pain.

May, 2001

Tuesday 29: Last night, I was walking to my car when I noticed a car was driving slowly next to me. Expecting that they were waiting to pass by, I stopped and allowed them to pass. The driver, an attractive young woman, had her window wound down, and said "Er, actually, I'm following you..." in a cute Englishy accent. I replied that my car was in the next aisle, and cut through toward it as she drove around.

I pointed to my car as she came around the corner, pulled out and drove away. As I was driving away, I realised that what I should have said was "If you follow me home, can I keep you?"

Why is it one always thinks of the funny pickup lines just a little too late after the event? :-)

Thursday 24th: Good Lord! I've just noticed that this section, which purports to be my more recent musings, dates back into the previous millenium.

And so, what am I thinking about now? Well, I'm 28 now. Older. Still single. And in some ways worried about it, and in others not at all. Sometimes convinced I must get married to fulfill my destiny, and other times convinced that life is so short, is there really time?

Sometime I dream of grandiose schemes, of planning months and years in advance to work towards a goal, and other times more realistic. Or should I be grand, live big, try hard, fail, but try anyway? Who knows which risks are right to take, and which are wrong -- then they would not be risks at all, would they?

And so, life goes on...

November, 2000

Saturday 25th: Yesterday was Thanksgiving. Visited with all my 'merkin friends and we had turkey and lots of other food. Learnt that there is a parade they all watch on TV thanksgiving morning and Santa is at the end (at least, that's the words that matched the questions I couldn't answer on the crossword puzzle...)

It's interesting, visiting with friends you only see once in a while. I learn more about myself and the way I see things, as I observe how I judge what others say. Does everyone weigh one another's words and motives as heavily as me, or am I just extra analytical? (or cynical?)

Been doing a lot of reading lately, which has been excellent, really. I found I like stories more than teaching, so autobiographies, fiction and allegories are all much more interesting that someone spelling it out in 7 bullet points. -- not the first time I've had to click on the 'about' page to learn what the heck a site is about (although I could've used webster :p)

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