by Nathan Bailey
The problems with dating
Top 25 reasons not to date!
Why do people feel so strongly about these issues? Because the
"dating game" is such a dangerous game to play! Whether you
are the predator or the prey, you are quite likely to be hurt by the
recreational dating scene. Some may come out unscarred from the pit of
snakes, but is that any reason to walk through it? :)
In terms of the use of the word 'dating' here, you might want to
read part one to distinguish between
recreational dating and more healthy romantic relationships.
|Dating promotes short-term relationships over long-term friendships
|— Bailey, 2003
- leads to intimacy but not necessarily to commitment.
- tends to skip the "friendship" stage of a relationship.
- often mistakes a physical relationship for love.
- often isolates a couple from other vital relationships.
- in many cases, distracts young adults from their primary responsibility of preparing for the future.
- can cause discontentment with God's gift of singleness.
- creates an artificial environment for evaluating another person's character.
- develops a self-centered, feeling-oriented concept of love.
- teaches people to break off difficult relationships, conditioning them more for divorce than marriage.
- develops an appetite for variety and change, creating dissatisfation within marriage.
- causes late marriages, leaving more time for falling into sins associated with singleness.
- promotes lust and moderate sexual activity, opening the door for fornication.
- creates a permanent endorphin-bond between two people who will not spend their lives together.
- creates a standard of comparison by which mates are first chosen, but after marriage rejected.
- lacks the protections and guidance afforded by parental involvement of courtship.
- doesn't prepare children to face "life's realities" -- it warps life's realities!
- devalues sex and marriage.
- destroys fellowship, leaving Christians alienated and ineffective for cooperative ministry.
- embarks on a romantic progression before people are ready to follow through (and commit to marriage)
- encourages short-term relationships over long-term friendships
... more to come!
These problems are extracted from "Dating: Is it worth the
risk?" by Reb Bradley; "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by
Joshua Harris; "Dating, Betrothal and Courtship" by Dr
S. M. Davis; "Dating vs. Courtship" by Paul Jehle
and various posts to the "Courtship Ring" mailing list.
Please see the list of resources for details
of where to access these resources!
© Copyright 1997-2012, Nathan Bailey, All Rights Reserved.
Permission is granted to print these articles for personal use, in
whole or in part, provided the extract references the original URL, http://polynate.net/books/courtship/
so that people can find the latest version.