A hurting wife says: I don't know why men do the things they do. I wonder if they realize how much they truly hurt us. I wonder if they know the deaths we die inside every day when they do stuff like this. I wonder if they even realize how fragile a relationship can be, and how you must nurture it to make the love grow and to grow together. I wonder if they knew, whether or not they would care.

It's not about you, and it's not about your relationship -- it's about him, and a need that he has never let God fulfill. He craves intimacy, and has created a world of fantasy, where it is fulfilled. The worlds of fantasy and reality never quite meet, and so it doesn't matter how well your relationship with him goes, it will never fulfill his lust -- the only way out of the trap is to break free, to refuse the world of fantasy and allow God to heal the hurts of the past and fulfill the need for intimacy that every man has but so many find difficult to express and allow to be met by God and their wives.

She added: I don't have any answers, just a lot of questions. And I know this doesn't apply to all men, but in my corner of the world, it sure seems that way.

Sadly, I think every man, at least in our Western society, faces lust and pornography. Some go further than others, and often it depends on their background, their relationship with their parents (especially mother) and God. Freedom and deliverance can be found, however, by turning to God, and getting accountable with a friend.

The best path to freedom from lust is a bright light in that dark, dark area.

A great book to read on the true impact of pornography on a marriage is An Affair of the Mind: One Woman's Courageous Battle to Salvage Her Family from the Devastation of Pornography by Laurie Sharlene Hall.